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As days get closer
"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

You're getting closer to entering a milestone. How do you feel?

Milestones don't occur very often. Sometimes they don't happen for many years. For me, being in my mid-20s, the only milestones I've ever had was finishing school, graduating with a degree and getting a job.

The next milestone is to volunteer abroad.

I've actually done this on impulse one night when I received an email from work to take annual leave this year and realised that I had no plans to take leave. But I always wanted to volunteer abroad so I decided to use this year as an opportunity. I've had this on my "to-do list" while I was a uni student and anticipate to do this 2 years ago (as well as travelling the world).

I've always wanted to trek to small villages in Asian countries and assist with medical work. For 2 reasons:
1. to gain experience
2. to prove to myself that I can achieve something.

Now I'm not doing much trekking for the volunteering projects that I joined, but going solo and travelling is a huge step out of my comfort zone.

I have chosen 2 volunteering projects with an organisation called Projects Abroad:
1. public health in Philippines (in the towns affected by Typhoon Haiyan in 2013).
The Public Health project focuses on a healthy lifestyle programme, which aims to reduce the amount of non-communicable diseases (NCDs) in the City of Bogo and other areas located north of Cebu.
I'll be based in or around the city of Bogo, about a 2.5 hours drive from Cebu City.

2. medical in Hanoi, Vietnam.
Volunteers will work with the local doctors to provide treatment to underprivileged autistic children from different parts of Northern Vietnam. Volunteer also have opportunity to participate and assist in surgeries. The analgesia acupuncture department covers many types of surgery such as neck tumours, breast cancer, liver, urology, gynaecology (uterus-constituents), gastroenterology, trauma and orthopaedics.
I have been placed in the Hospital of Acupuncture (I know nothing about this... but seems like the hospitals are based on alternative medicines)

Initially I intended to volunteer in Nepal with an organisation named TrekMedic. Unfortunately my poor health and altitudes that the towns reside in do not agree. Or wait for a first aid Officer role in Red Cross.

I'm also going on this solo journey to mentally challenge myself and develop as a person I want to be. I'm not the best at everything. I'm not the best daughter/sister/aunt/friend/partner/etc. I am aware that I will be out of my comfort zone but I'm going to see how I'm going to cope without my hermit shell. And I'm okay with that. Perhaps, I could be finding some answers I've been searching for. Maybe, when I come back, I won't need my hermit shell.

The project goal was to share knowledge and practices that we do at our home country. I know in return that I will gain plenty of invaluable experience from the countries I travel as well.

Just over a month left to go.

(no subject)
Yes I am still alive. Nowadays I only have time to read friends blogs then actually make my own.

but while I was at work, I was thinking about something.. my birthday is coming up and for the first time, i dont feel like doing anything. Usually I plan it a month in advance. but I've been so isolated at work, I feel like I have time to plan my social life.

I was thinking of like a dinner with friends.. but.. Everytime I think about friends, I feel like I don't have a lot of friends... Yes i have close friends, but from different social groups, It's hard to put them all in one room. even those friends who can't get along with each other.

I had a think about the whole hundreds of friends I had before I was in a relationship and then I thought.. "why don't they see that I'm truly happy with the man I love?" Instead they all believe in all these lies and rumours about me and they refuse to look at me. Don't they want me to value happiness?

Well now I think that they're jerks and not worth it anymore. As long as I have my close-knit of friends that really do understand and support me.

back to my birthday, I still don't feel like it this year. like. where to eat? I have a friend who will only eat aussie/italian food. Also I want to save money to compensate for my friends damage to his bike. Yes I had to pay for the broken part. >.<

I had an accident.. a stupid one... i want to sit on my friends motorcycle but as I tried to get off, the bike fell and I fell with it. i only got nasty bruises on my legs (and very sore for a week) but his bike was undrivable. I agreed to pay for everything *sigh* well I can afford it.. luckily. So yeah.. working my money back for a nice holiday on 2 year anniversary next year.

Work has been so exhausting. it's very hard to find social time to even hang out with friends. I work either 8 or 10 hour shifts. nearly everyday. usually work on business hours so I don't have time to go shopping. even paintball. have to wake up even early! boyfriend needs to assist in the offsite to load and unload the stock. it's very difficult to even ask a friend "hey, wanna catch up this week?" because I most likely be working.

Boyfriend reminded me last week to spend quality time together. I have been so focused on working and working and working that I forget that my boyfriend came out of his way to see me and expects quality time. there was a shift work desperately wanted me to do. even still rang me on the morning to work. but my boyfriend was like "what am I gonna do while you work? We could have huggles, and go shopping together, and go beach, eat out, watch tv, huggle some more etc etc" I realised that even while we do work at paintball together, we don't spend a lot of time being together. which is what we both need...

pros and cons of work
ok, I'm having a situation with this second job that I haven't even started yet... Even stressing me out like.. I want to quit this job I havent even started!

The more questions I find, the more dodgy this business is actually is. The only 2 pros about it is that I get paid higher than my paintball marshal job and Its within my qualifications. Now the downside.. there are too many to list such as:
- this boss has a habit of not paying on time.
- I must have an ABN for tax purposes and they don't have a superannuation thingy.. It kinda troublesome cos I do intend to leave in the short term I don't want to permanently have an ABN...
- I was supposed to go to an induction last saturday. Hence having to sacrifice being a paintball marshal for a day just to rock up, get my uniform and know everything before my first shift which starts on Friday. GUESS WHAT? The person in charge never turned up! Me and this guy, who we became friends very quickly, waited in the rain for 90 minutes! we literally talked non-stop for 90 mins and counted planes that took off nearby... we even took turns to ring the person in charge only to get the same response.. he didn't pick up. typical!
- reminding everyone I rostered into my first shift about 6 weeks ago. I start on Friday night and still no uniform! I still don't know anything about the way this company runs!

Weighing these points up with my paintball job, yes it's low pay but they have this weird staff-customer ratio rule which sometimes means the manager has to send some staff home early, and its only a weekend job, I feel more secure in this job, cos they pay on time and I has a super. which I really should chase up cos I think I now have two accounts when I shouldnt have. hmm...

What would you do if you have a situation similar to mine? Should I quit before I even started?

My First Ever Concert
I don't think it's hard to believe that I went to a concert for the first time. Bck in high school I didn't have anyone I'm obsessed about and lose my voice for. (ok.. maybe P!nk but couldn't afford the tickets anyway)

Anyway, this David Choi I kept going on about on facebook is like an Idol to me and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is secretly more obsessed with him. He was the one who introduced me to him in the first place. Please do listen to his songs!! out of all the big pop singers, his songs are all honest and humble! his songs are mainly about life, love and moving on.

Yes we bought VIP meet and greet tickets to see him last Tuesday! I was so happy! Also a few days before that I thought I might join this comp to be the 40 lucky ppl who get to see him in a Q&A session the next day, all I had to do was post a question about his music career and the "winners" would be announced during the concert.

turned out not enough ppl posted questions, so I won by default. Boyfriend did get a little jelly.... :P I have more pics with David than him.

Anyway the concert... I really enjoyed it. you hear fangirls screaming and getting jelly that a girl kissed him. He's cute ok! I'm too shy lol. and he was taller than I thought! on Youtube he looks so short! hahahhaha, sigh.. i feel short now T.T turns out he's a little taller than me.

After the concert went to eat at Passionflower. hadnt been there in so long they have a few new things on the menu. I wanted waffles~~

Q&A session was more private. no video was allowed. only photos. I was wondering if i should go cos I was feeling unwell and feet had blisters from wearing heels all night. but it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and I was one of the 40 ppl so I might as well make the most of it.

This month, I am looking forward to getting a new haircut/treatment in 2 weeks in preparation for graduation. I'm trying this keratin treatment so I'm excited cos my hair is too knotty and annoying now. also looking forward to graduation~
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First I'll briefly say that my boyfriends surprise party was a success~ ^.^ I was so happy and he was pretty happy too~

Then we both realised that one of our friends didn't turn up. for some reason he hasn't been replying to me. He's my friend from primary school and my boyfriend's friend from high school.

In the end, I kinda came to the conclusion that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore. I noticed he wasn't talking to me since I was in a relationship. He did confess to me a few years back but I declined. I asked my boyfriend after the party if he might be still be jealous. The reply was "probably... But I have feelings for you too".

So my suspicion that I was involved in a love triangle by these two high school boys: confirmed.

Then it made me wonder... if my boyfriend had feelings for me way way back, why didn't we get together then? to be honest I never thought I was his type at all. he did mention something about that I wasn't the type to "experiment". I still don't know what he meant.

My "women logic" (you know men hate this sort of logic cos it doesnt make sense) is that my boyfriend hooks up with 2 other girls.... well one girl in particular for 18 months, then comes back to me cos i'm his real relationship? Or relapsed about his feelings for me when we met at his previous girlfriend's 21st. If he always loved me, I don't really understand why he didn't save himself for me. Even tho he had other relationships,, He still wanted to talk to me to maintain our friendship.

I've always forgiven him. I still forgive him even tho he always come to my house late. I feel like I have to forgive him for his past relationships too. Forgiving feels like we can make this relationship last.

After a lot of time to think, I have seen my boyfriend grow into a more mature, more thoughtful boyfriend. I guess his past relationships has given him those life's lessons. That way, when he did come back to me, he became the boyfriend I wanted him to be.

technology leading us into idiocracy?
I watched a movie called "Idiocracy" where a male and female were participating in an experiment to be sleeping inside some pod for a year... but instead the pod opens after 300 years. in a world were ppl are just really dumb because of this technology.

I'm kinda of wondering if it may be true...

I was discussing with my mum and boyfriend about Borders. How I used to buy lots of picture books for my oldest nephew back in the day and teaching him how to read made him love reading even more. Now my youngest nephew is at that age.. yet I find it difficult to teach him how to read cos 1. I no longer have that book I bought from borders. 2. he always want to play computer games/game consoles. to be honest.. he isn't as bright as his older brother.

And now Kindles comes in now I don't see many bookstores around since everyone keeps buying ebooks for less than $5. but when I want to teach kids how to read, I want them to experience turning the pages. not this pushing buttons that kids are used to.

Back in our day, we wanted tamagochis, marbles, hot wheels, and furbies. Today's kids want iPads, iPods, 3DS and and xbox.

I don't want technology to take away the awesomness of reading.. it's not as fun. you can't drop it, draw on it, bend it, rip pages..

Best. Boyfriend. Ever
I have the most sweetest, caring, loving, most understanding boyfriend ever~~~~~

Not only has he been nursing me the past few days (and now), he's using up his pocket money to run errands for me and brings me stuff when i demand it lol. And risking his own health by sleeping on the same bed as me cos i wanted hugs. T.T

Right now i'm currently getting worse and worse. I have a big assignment due, a test to do and a lab assessment to do. I was expected to volunteer with St Johns for a fundraising event this weekend. I was really excited to go because the highlight of the event is the scones. Best. Scones. Ever!!!!

But today, with me not getting any better, I had to make the decision and accept that I'm not going to get better on time and that I have to pull out from the event. which meant... no scones T.T

I bragged to my boyfriend about how yummy they are all day today. Soft scones with a crisp shell with raspberry jam and a dulop of cream on top. it's like freaking sweet heaven!!!

And my boyfriend felt sorry for me that he went to the supermarket, bought ingredients, and made me... SCONES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and he bought raspberry jam and cream T.T he went through all that effort to cheer me up T.T

I feel like I don't deserve him sometimes. especially with what he did today. I haven't done anything to make him happy because all I can really do is sleep and he's doing everything around the house T.T
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just a quick post and update what's been going on the past few days since the break-in at my house

I feel heaps better now. boyfriend decides to literally move in and makes sure the house will be occupied everyday. Which I think is very loyal of him cos I'd love him to visit his family too. He can't actually sleep in his own bed without getting bitten by bugs but my house is bug-free. He even helped put the flyscreens back on the windows and mum helped clean up the house. Only one left is to replace one flyscreen as that's been ripped out.

Also I've been doing my own cleaning too. I kept being in denial that a certain item was stolen so i'd go around the house looking for it, It's a good thing I was looking for my jewelry cos I actually found my beloved bracelet!!! it wasn't with the pouch i thought I'd put it in. It was hidden under stacks of paper lol. *phew* And I just found a second Tiffany&Co pouch in my suitcase so it turns out the bastards didn't steal much at all. I had concluded that they stole the following items:
1. old/dying Toshiba Portege Laptop with a cooler attached
2. dying grey ipod nano
3. a pair of sternling silver earrings from Tiffany&Co

all of which the druggies CANNOT sell to buy more drugs. cos they left my charger behind. and pawn shops only take gold or white gold.

Police had rang me the past few days questioning me about my stolen jewelry. this was the time i thought they took my bangle. It good that they had found gold jewelry that had been stolen but none of my jewelry were gold. well.. I'm wearing one but I never take that off. I also had a policeman from Richmond who rang me and asked what colour my ipod nano was. Interesting that they found stolen items. Even tho I don't care about my ipod or laptop, I gave police the serial numbers for those so it might help get some leads.

Writer's Block: Get in my belly
What is your mother’s specialty dish? In other words, what food makes you salivate at the thought of it?

Mum doesn't really have a specialty dish but sometimes i do request food that she hasn't cooked in a while. Both my parents can cook and of course they're not the food you see in restuarants but that's what I love about home-cooked food. it's simple.

I love it when my mum makes chinese potato cakes. fluffy potato with lup chung and spring onions and other ingredients.

Now I just got a random flashback in my mind too the times when mum and I made Chicken Buns and by the time the dough finished rising, it was about 10:30pm so we didn't finish making them until after midnight XD The bread part wasn't perfect but hey... it was still edible.

Now back to this... I love my desserts and I love sweetened soup. mum only knows how to make the beancurd one. She even made it for me last weekend to cheer me up ^.^ which was sweet of her. But she made soo much tho.

Dad makes this different one using sweet potato and ginger. So it was a ginger sweet soup with sweet potato (yum yum) Purple ones are just cool cos it makes the soup purple too XD

Too bad both my parents are too stingy to give me the recipe.

I remember when I was really little and my parents had more time at home in the kitchen, dad used to make this egg custard pudding, putting them in bowls, covering it with aluminium foil and heating them up in the steamer.

Other then those, I crave vietnamese food. I was raised on only 4 vietnamese dishes: pho, spring rolls, mixed ham bagette and broken rice. I learned that there are much more then just those and I want to learn more about the culture and the cruisine and learn how to cook different dishes too. I made Bun rieu (my new favourite) and for once it didn't fail the first time. I'm still holding up to my boyfriend how promised to make me Banh Xeo (vietnamese pancake) which is also yummy despite me hate for veggies.... but hey, its one way to get me to eat them.

dammit I feel like I wanna eat more food now and I just ate.

Battle of the Asian Countries
Now i gotta share this with you cos thinking about it is just funny XD

Having me and my boyfriend growing up in 2 different cultures has it's similarities and differences.

Now the funny thing is that most of our differences is based around food. For me I love different foods...But it's not so keen to try any of mums cooking.

So I steamed up this rice noodles with prawn and spring onion ("Chung Fun" as I call it) and it tastes better if "sauce". Good thing is that we BOTH had it in our cultures. Something similar!

the difference is the "sauce". this is where the battle of the Asian Cultures comes in.

For Him: Fish Sauce w/ pickled carrot and chilli *imagine him slamming down his Fish Sauce to represent his country*

Me: Soy Sauce w/ sesame oil and optional XO Sauce (which he HATES) or Hoisin sauce *imagine me with my bottle of Soy Sauce with Sesame oil as its partner*

Clearly I win right with my many bottles???

I ate it his way and it's not bad. But I still like my combo better xD


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